Quick, short update since I am half way through. 3 weeks down and 3 weeks to go! I then get a month off before the next round of double dose chemo!!!

I have lost hair in patches where the radiation is focused on my brain. Looks lovely so I am sporting lots of hats so I don’t scare anyone.

I also am much more tired than in previous weeks and find I want to rest much more. This I am not happy with as I have just started Physical Therapy to try and regain strength in my left side.

Perversely my left is also affected by the radiation and is losing strength. My goal is to ty not to lose any more muscle mass!!!

Talking of muscle. my PT said I need to strengthen my glutes. nothing new there. Her exercise was to lie on my back and squeeze them. easy? Sure but I could not even feel them, either I no longer have any or my brain has forgotten them. Her solution? Pretend you are in a full elevator and need to fart but want to hold it in. :)!!!!!! That kind of worked.

So, I will continue to walk and do yoga and practice my glute exercises. All the while listening to my body for when I need to rest. I have my eye on the prize…. I really want to ski this season so I have work to do and I have grand children to keep up with!!!!

Many people use the term warrior when talking about anyone who is ‘battling’ a debilitating illness. I get it and I sometimes feel that way too. Hence, I like to practice the warrior poses; warrior three eludes me at the moment. However, the other side to this is that it does not feel right to talk about my body in that way. I prefer to take a more peaceful view and feel sorry for the cells that are not able to function as they are supposed to so I am choosing to visualize them being changed into stars by the rainbows that are formed by the rays of radiation (I am not crazy honestly, just trying my best to stay sane) and released into the universe to form a new ‘dancer constellation’ I am working on this pose also!

I looked up the term ‘peaceful warrior ‘ and saw that someone wrote about this! Dan Millman AND there is a movie too, you probably all know this.

He thinks of the life of a peaceful warrior in this way, “Life as a peaceful warrior is a life of meditation, mindfulness, compassion, and acceptance” I guess I need to read the book and find out more. However, I think this is how I am trying to approach my situation. As Dave and I say, it is what it is… The warrior piece is the determination that this is not going to get me down! Not going to stop me doing what I love to do even if it might look a little different.

This is where the Warrior Angels come in. All of you who are on this journey with me supporting and cheering me on. Like the PCT trail Angels you hear about or maybe even have benefitted from their care.

Angels who bring food to help Dave keep working through this. Angels who walk with me. Angels who send me inspiring messages every day. Angels who encourage me to go on my paddleboard. Angels who hike up mountains with me. Angels who have sent thoughtful gifts to comfort me or keep me busy. Angels who drive me to the hospital. Angels who read this blog. Angels who send up positivity to the universe in prayer or positive intentions. Angels who write me beautiful messages of memories shared. Angels who hug me when I need it. Angels who travel to visit. My beautiful Angel children and grandchildren who want to spend time with me. Angels who help me put my worries aside and simply live my life with normal routines and activities. I am sure I have missed something/someone. Oh yes, my amazing husband of 37 of years who has lived this with me!!!!

You all are my Warrior Angels and may not even know it. I am so grateful for every one of you!!!.

I was so nervous the first night of taking the chemo pills. I was prepared in case I threw up! I was just fine and 3 weeks in I continue to be just fine. I take an anti-nausea pill at 8 pm and chemo at 9pm.

I slept well and was ready the next morning to go to my first radiation appointment. This first one was scheduled for 2:15pm so I had all day to worry about getting there and wearing my radiation mask!! I did a couple of walks and some yin yoga to keep calm.

Putting on the mask required some alternate nostril breathing which works a treat to calm the nervous system. Check it out, you may like it! Once the mask was on, the team left while the radiation was administered. I began to visualize paddling Rattlesnake Lake. I counted strokes as I paddled from the boat launch to the Eagle log. (The one in the middle of the lake that is always sticking up!) I got to 200 paddles and it was all over. the team came in, removed the mask and off I went. Day 1 down just 29 more to go.

Each radiation day follows the same pattern

• Wake up and do yoga before breakfast
• Drive to Swedish
• Park in the priority radiation spots
• Get the covid safe sticker
• Get buzzed into radiation
• Scan my ID card
• Put on the mask ( look up radiotherapy masks to see what this looks like)
• Visualize to relax
• Head home.

Usually after radiation I feel light headed and unsteady. I always am ready for a nap before noon. Then am refreshed for my walk after lunch.

So far this is going well. I am experiencing some of the symptoms I had before surgery but they warned me that I might. I am unbalanced and my left side does not always do what I want it to do! I can reach for something with my left hand but them it will not let go!! All in all, I feel very lucky as I feel great for the most part, not climbing Si yet but working towards it!!

https://awaken.com/2021/02/the-10-best-yoga-breathing-exercises/

I do radiation and chemo 5 days a week and get a break at the weekends. AT the weekend we have been making sure to do fun stuff.

My bestie in Canada came for the weekend. I have not seen her in 2 years due to Covid. her visit coincided with a family picture day so the whole family was here… so much fun and laughter. What better healing tonic than that? A reminder of what life is all about.

My oncologist wanted me to have 5 weeks to recover from the surgery before starting chemo and radiotherapy. I had 5 weeks to get strong! lets go….

Leaving the hospital was a mix of relief to be going home but a little anxiety for what was to come. In the hospital they kept a close eye on me. what if something goes wrong? What if my blood pressure shot up? What if I had a seizure?

Walking in the house was amazing. I was overwhelmed by the number of cards, flowers and well wishes! there were 2 big posters on the walls. welcoming me home. and of course, my amazing family!!!!!!

in the picture: Dave, Mark, Steve, Anna, Kelly, Jonathan, Dawn, Sophie, Daisy, Kyla, Thomas and Rex.

Missing from the picture are Roland, Morgan and Merritt.

Walking was the first form of exercise and I quickly went from walking a mile to walking 3-5 miles on a regular basis, usually in 2 shifts. I walk the river path near my house. I am joined by Dave most days for one of the walks and have walked with any visitors who will walk with me. We have been so lucky with the weather. I usually dodge the rain!!!!

Yoga has been more challenging! Many of the poses challenge my brain as well as my body strength and balance!!! I started being able to manage 10 minutes and am now up to 30 minutes.

One of the most tiring activities is being around a lot of people and trying to keep up with the conversations, particularly if there is also music playing and when voices get loud. I think my brain just has too much stimulus to organize and prioritize.

4 weeks post surgery, we took a family trip to Mazama. This was so much fun. I had to wear my eye mask for a lot of the journey but it was worth it to hang with the family and enjoy some sun. We went to listen to music at the Mazama store but that proved to be too much!!! Walking is definitely what my brain wants.

I got into a nice routine during this post surgery time, breakfast then morning yoga or walk, followed by A nap then occupational therapy aka house chores! They are slow but I can get a few things done while Dave works. followed by another nap, walk #2, dinner, then the cognitive therapy, which includes doing brain puzzles, Journaling or writing this blog. Hence why I am so slow with updates.

During this time, I also got fitted with my Radiotherapy mask. Look it up on line. They look like a form of torture. Also, during this time, and after some research and a meeting with a naturopathic oncologist, we switched to a ketogenic diet. This basically means no sugar and low carbs with the aim of starving the cancer cells to slow their growth in my brain. My family and friends have been amazing in their support of me making this switch.

The last weekend before chemo and radiation started, Dave and I went for our annual trip with Rob and Roberta, this year we went to Sequim. This is usually a wine tasting weekend but not this time. We enjoyed walking in the woods by the ocean and sightseeing in Port Angeles.

In the hospital I had an Occupational Therapist (OT), a Physical Therapist (PT) and a Speech Therapist. They each had their different roles but by far the hardest was the speech therapist, she did not really work on my speech but my cognitive functions!

Occupational Therapy:

For this, they had me hanging up clothes and folding laundry. I practiced making a cup of tea. All very useful! The most difficult thing was folding the laundry. Anything where my hands had to cross was difficult. My brain wasn’t paying attention to the left side of my body so I had to reteach it to do so, and I’m struggling with this still. One of the things they also had me do was turn bolts onto screws, and that was very hard. I also had a hard time letting go of things with my left hand. I have to tap it and look at it and remind it to let go!

Physical Therapy:

This was my favorite. I got to go on walks outside, they set up obstacle courses for me to maneuver, and had me on a Wii Fit which I was terrible at! Mostly because I don’t play video games! I enjoyed trying to beat my timed scores each time. The hardest part of physical therapy was balancing on one leg and standing upright with my eyes closed. Again, my brain isn’t recognizing my left side. This is unusual for me because I have done so much yoga, my balance is normally great!

Speech Therapy:

My speech therapy was actually speech and cognitive therapy, and it was the hardest. It was working on thinking, reasoning, and remembering. One of the activities she had me do was giving me the brainteasers where she gave me a short story and I had to figure out the details of what each character was doing or wearing and so on based on the information provided. They were so hard they made me sweat! I had to think very hard on the answers. My short term memory was a little hard, typing has been hard, hence why it took so long to get this blog up and running! It involved so many steps that were difficult.