Christmas Day marked 4 months since surgery diagnosis was the day before. Everything happened so quickly I don’t think I really had a chance for us to sink in. The ski season really brought it home I was hoping that all the PT that I’ve been doing, and the yoga and the walking would help with the skiing and maybe it has it’s just hard to tell. I did what I could at the time, so it is what is thank goodness for friends and my family. I am stealing a quote that Anne posted.

“Of love that waits to take you home to where you are known and seen and where your life is treasured” John O’Donohue. I am also stealing her sentiments, “My friends and family fill my heart and fuel my soul” Anne Melgaard.

I have taken so much for granted over the years. My health, my ability to do what I want in the outdoors. That has mostly gone now, and my definition of activity outdoors is has radically changed. I am learning a new way of being, hopefully with work and perseverance it will be temporary or short lived.

My wonderful friends invited me on a short ski tour up Snoqualmie Valley trail, nothing like what we did last year. They were absolutely amazing it took 3 of them to help me get my foot in my skis and hold me up when I overbalanced Regardless, we had fun and smiles as the trail was beautiful with lovely soft snow on the ground.

It has truly been this ski season that has brought home what is happening to me. I keep telling myself that I am just 4 months in and to be more patient!

My Update

I started a new chemo drug that I take 5 days out of 28 plus a lower dose chemo every day. I have figured out how to manage the nausea. Thank goodness as I did not like that!! Dave continues to be amazing with his spreadsheet to help us keep track of it all. Plus, he is still looking for delicious keto meals to cook for me!

I keep up my PT with a weekly zoom meeting with Edge Physical Therapy. Then I do my exercises every day. Yogo has been harder as I have Chorioretinal scar on my right eye. I am not really sure what this is but it hurts when I put my head down. not helpful when doing yoga.

Other than that, I am on the routine of:

• weekly blood draw
• monthly zoom meeting with my oncologist and:
• 2 monthly MRIs. The next one is February 10th.

HAPPY NEW YEAR. Let’s hope it’s a good one!!!!

I get a lot of people commenting on how calm I seem through all of this crazy “adventure”.

My answer is, in no particular order of importance!

• Dave to keep me sane and grounded
• My family
• All my wonderful Warrior Angels who support me in many different ways
• Yoga

I began my yoga journey in 2013, in the mountains with my adventure buddy Anne. We skinned up Hyak face and skied to the bottom of the chair on the backside of Hidden Valley. Anne had me hold warrior 3 pose while she set the selfie timer for our first SnoYoga pose. I had no idea what warrior 3 was! Playing in the snow with Anne and my other adventure yoga buddies got me serious about learning how to do the poses or as I now know, the Asanas.

In May 2013, I bought a 12 class pass to Ignite in North Bend https://ignitedanceandyoga.com/ The pass lasted 3 weeks. I was hooked!!!! I then bought a membership and went to as many classes as I could! I have learned from some amazing yogis at that studio. I then began to follow the yoga community on instagram and began some of the ‘challenges’ I started many but did not always finish them however, I learned lots and slowly progressed in my asana practice.

On thanksgiving of 2013, I went to Josephine’s morning class where she told me that yoga is not just about the asanas but that there are actually what is referred to as 8 limbs of yoga (forgive me if you know all this but this was all new to me!!) She \explained that together the 8 limbs of yoga are a way of being in the world. “A way to cultivate inner happiness and free ourselves from negativity.” The Path of the Yoga Sutras” Nicolai Bachman.

Josephine talked about Santosa, one of the niyama-s. She described it as being content with one’s actions, with what one has and, with what one is doing or has done. Being content with who we are leads to inner happiness according to Bachman ” Santosa means being satisfied with whatever you are doing…as long we are doing something to move ourselves in a positive direction” This goes along nicely with a gratitude practice.

What am I rambling on about? You ask yourself. Well, when I look at my life in this adventure, I am happy with what I have, where I am and who I am. I may have an interloper in my brain, but I am not going to let that ruin the enjoyment of my one wild and precious life!! As Dave keeps saying ” it is what it is!”

My Update

I just came off 4 weeks of a break from no treatment and it felt amazing! No trips to Swedish for radiotherapy, no chemo, no more seizure drugs. As the weeks went by, I began to feel stronger and stronger! I even went paddleboarding!

I still have trouble with a lot of noise, and I get tired with a lot of stimulation plus I have a constant feeling of being out of balance as my brain works to figure out what is happening. If you walk with me, I will likely bump into you a lot! I still talk to my left hand, so my brain understands what it is supposed to do. This is all connected to the left side neglect due to the tumors pushing on the right side of my brain. I am gentle with my hand and brain though and talk nicely to it!

What is next?…As I said in the last post. I need to keep doing what I am doing with diet and positive thinking, add in daily low dose chemo plus one other drug that is known to be a stem cell suppressant: (hydroxyurea if you want to look it up) taken 5 days every 28. I will have an MRI every 2 months and monthly blood draws with follow up online meetings with the oncologist. I have also added daily meditation to my daily routine. I am a busy girl!!!

Have a wonderful winter break. Be sure to find time to relax and unwind. You are worth it!

If you are into podcasts, treat yourself to an episode or 2 of this one https://bethkempton.com/podcast/

I just finished 3 of 4 weeks of no treatment. Today was the first MRI that will be used as a baseline for all future 2 monthly MRIs. Not doing radiotherapy every day is awesome!! I feel so much more balanced and with it mentally, though I don’t always look it as my left hand still has a mind of its own at times. 🙂

The words he used were ” the tumor is dormant” We always knew it would not go away so we are glad to hear the word dormant as opposed to growing!!!! What does this mean?…

Basically, I need to keep doing what I am doing with diet and positive thinking, add in daily low dose chemo plus one other drug that is known to be a stem cell suppressant: taken 5 days every 28. I will have an MRI every 2 months and monthly blood draws with follow up online meetings with the oncologist.

He also told me that the left side weakness will most likely be a lifelong issue because of where the tumor was growing. however, I have seen great results so far with the PT and walking that I do so watch this space!

We will not know if one of the treatments is more effective than another but more that the combined multiple approaches is doing the job of keeping the cancer cells from multiplying. This is the hope anyway. NO… this is what is going to happen.

His parting words were keep doing what you are doing and enjoy life. I can do that!!!