When I started this blog just after surgery I wanted it to be a way of communicating with the people who wanted to know what was going on in my world. Since then it has become more than that for me.

It has become a way of journaling my thoughts as I move through this new reality. Thank you for coming along for the ride I really appreciate it. Having said that, if there are things that you just want to pass over and, simply skip to the update, no problem, that’s good with me too.

One of the many new things I’ve learned has been the power of meditation here is the piece you can skip if you want to go straight to the update.😄

Meditation

I am really new to meditation other than the short meditations that Krista and Josephine did during yoga. I also tried doing a few group meditations. One that I remember clearly was on our paddle boards on a very cold evening we were all freezing cold, and I was oblivious to the discomfort!

Anyway, meditation, what is it? And how and why do it anyway?

Those of you who follow me on Instagram will know that I’ve been doing a daily meditation using the Calm app so that I can learn more about it. A friend also recommended a podcast-On Purpose- by a guy called Jay Shetty which I have been listening to in order to learn more.

I use meditation in the following ways to help me sleep at night, to help me during an MRI, in general just to calm me down and relax into it without realizing it, I have tried all different forms of meditation and I like them all but for different purposes so there is breathwork, visualization and mantra meditation. If you have any resources are tips, please let me know since I am just learning and exploring.

6 Month Update

It’s been so nice not taking chemo every night my body does not feel much different quite honestly, my appetite is better my energy level is about the same with naps most days. This makes me think that my chemo is not too bad other than reducing my white blood count, which since being off the chemo has increased a little bit, we will see next week if I’m able to go back on the chemo and keep working on keeping this tumor from growing.

What can I now do?

• walk moving my arms and legs in opposition as in an army march.
• turn my t-shirt right way out
• turn the bath tap off and on with my big toe.
• hold a conversation for more than 10 mins.
• clip into my cross-country ski bindings with relative ease
• Hike 1000ft elevation gain no problem 😊
• Can do transitions in yoga without falling over.
• Can cross country ski 2 miles. One mile without falling over!!

My white blood count has been low for the last two weeks. On the last blood draw, it did not increase by enough, so I was not able to restart my chemo. Maybe next week? There’s not much I can do to help it so I have to just be patient. Seems like being patient is a lesson I’m really having to learn in this journey and that is totally fine.

What is still hard…

• Telling people my story to people who don’t know about it. I get emotional.
• Balance with my eyes closed
• Stand on my left leg for more than 10 seconds without over balancing. This means that most of the standing balance yoga poses I am still working on.
• Downhill Skiing.

These are the biggies. I know there are more, but I am trying to stay positive!

One of my big take away from Jay Shetty’s podcast is that he recommends starting your morning by NOT looking at the notifications, news and negativity on your phone but rather by creating habits around- Thankfulness, inspiration, meditation and exercise. This I can do!!!!

On Rattlesnake ledge, President’s Day.

I am asked this question a lot. How is your quality of life? My oncologist on diagnosis told me to “live my best life”. What does this mean? Are we all living our best lives?

The Oxford dictionary defines this as “The standard of health, comfort and happiness experienced by an individual or group” There it is again- Happiness!!!

When I look at this diagram of the indicators of quality of life, in my opinion I have a great quality of life, other than my health diagnosis. True, my health has limited my options for leisure time and now that I have more time in my day that is unfortunate however when I look at the other indicators, I am doing great!!!Maybe it is about the amount of weight you put on those indicators. Some of them weigh in high- Family, security, mental state, social life, material state.

Choosing to flip my thinking helps a lot.

I only paddled to the lake and back, flips to I got to paddle to the end of the lake and back. The words we use MATTER!

Anyway, enough of life according to Dawn. Here is what you really want to know:

MRI Update

Here are the notes from the MRI. Maybe you can make more sense of them?

FINDINGS:
Prior right parietal vertex craniotomy. Heterogeneous bilobed enhancing mass is redemonstrated medially within portions of the right cingulate gyrus. The more anterior component measures up to 2.4 x 2.0 cm, previously 2.3 x 2.1 cm. The more posterior component measures up to 2.7 x 2.0 cm, previously 3.0 x 2.3 cm. Overall, slightly smaller. Similar enhancement connecting these regions and thinly along a surgical tract extending superlaterally within the right frontal lobe. On perfusion imaging, RCBVs within the more anterior enhancing area is between 2.1 and 3.7 inferiorly. RCBVs within the more posterior area is between 2.2 and 2.5. Similar postsurgical parenchymal loss within the right posterior body of the corpus callosum and some of the overlying right frontal white matter, with associated areas of internal and surrounding hemosiderin deposition.

Non enhancing T2 hyperintensity within portions of the surrounding / overlying right frontal lobe and the right parietal lobe is slightly increased. RCBVs between 1.3 and 1.7. There is similar mild local mass-effect on the superior aspect of the right lateral ventricle. Ventricular caliber otherwise appears on remarkable. No additional, new or worsening enhancement.

Translated this is NO NEW GROWTH and a shrinking of the tumor size.

Bottom Line: The oncologist was very happy with the results. As my sister-in-law Sabine said, Doctor happy, I am happy. We need to keep on doing what we are doing as for now it works!!!!

As always, Thanks for all the positive messages of support.